if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
