I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Randomize
