I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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