my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
Randomize
