I didn't shave. On purpose
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
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