I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
