He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
tell me about the fingering
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize