If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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