I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Randomize
