go do what you do best...puke behind churches
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
