I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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