did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
wow bdsm is so cute
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize