So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
