I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Randomize
