First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize