I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
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