So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize