Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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