No awkward lesbian experiences without me
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
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