so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Randomize
