this boner is exhausting
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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