Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
