Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
