we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
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