i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
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