I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize
