if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
I've blown a few things in my day
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
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