We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
