he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Randomize
