So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
Randomize
