but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
Randomize
