just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
this will be a night to untag.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
Randomize
