You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Randomize