So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
I stole a fireplace last night.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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