It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
