Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
