Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Randomize
