Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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