I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Randomize
