is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
