I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Randomize
