Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
