i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
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