Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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