I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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