He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
