i'm signing you up for texting rehab
Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Randomize
