Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize
