omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
