1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
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