come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
Everything about him screamed your future.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Randomize
