Tell her she can't have a vagina
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Randomize
