he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize