Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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