I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
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