dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Randomize
