Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
I had to cum in my sink.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
