and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Randomize
