he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
