haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
