and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
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