My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
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