Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
