My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Randomize
