i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
