3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
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