rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
