dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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