If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Randomize
