She said her name was "party"
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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