Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I am available for nakedness
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Randomize
