Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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