I can't open my eyes
Lol why not?
Because I have fat ankles and I'm drunk
ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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