Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Randomize
