On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Randomize
